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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Teenage son - girlfriends????

I had this conversation with my teenage son (15 years old) about girlfriends not long ago. I told him that now a days children or rather teenagers start to fall in love even though they are only 12years old. Falling in love at such a young age could sometimes be term as Puppy Love, Adolescent Love or Infatuation. He was asking me whether having a girlfriend is OK. The answer is definitely NO, as I try to answer him with whatever reasons I can think off. I always remind my children not to fall in love so very young (talking through experience) LOL. Once you start to get involve (fall in love) it will affect your studies and mess things up (emotionally). If there is a argument/ quarrel between the pair it would be the worst nightmare. I always stress the important of studies first and love will come automatically if one's is successful, especially to my son. As for my daughter she is more into taking my advice but kind of cheeky in a way. I always advice my son if he wants to fall in love with a gal. He must be at least in university and find a gal who is at least 5 years his junior (10 years would be better). So one day he asked me why the need for age difference. I told him that girls aged faster than guys in their sexual desires. This is a fact and from getting feedback from many couples who are married. Even my father once told me that I was not sure I believe him then but now I do. The most important thing is to stress to my kids not to fall in love for the time being (when they are still schooling). If they want to mess up their life now then what can I do, I can just do what a dad has to do advice and advice( I think I am not nagging) and hope my kids will listen to at least some of it and come to their senses. I have to wait for a few years to see my wishes come true for me and my children. I sincerely hope they will listen to my advice. What advice would you give your children if they come up and say that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend or say they are in love at such age?


Anonymous Mossie`Ol Chin said...

on another note i wonder... if you advice your son to fall in love with someone who is 5 to 10 years his junior... so when he just graduates and being in his 24 or 25, wouldn't that means he is messing up another girl's life who is sitll in her early teens?! pun intended! :P

12:15 PM  
Blogger LcF said...

my advice is pak toh with girl who is already graduated and working. No no to school girls.

1:07 PM  
Anonymous PeNNyPupZ said...

hehhehehe.. this is coming from a 17 y/o girl..

well.. it's normal if you don't encourage your kids to paktoh at their age.. OUR age.. i second Mossie there.. my parents do not forbid me from paktohing but of course they discourage.. they don't nag me blalabla.. in fact they know my bfs..

i guess you had bad experiences in the past.. so i think that is the reason why u tell your kids it'll mess things up.. rite?

hehe.. well my parents have been dating since they were teenagers.. and after 40 years.. still happy together blablabla.. so.. i'm just saying it's not always bad.. and if you nag your kids too much, they'll prolly turn rebellious.. trust me :) i'm only like 2 years older than your son ;p

Peace, PeNNy ;p

7:55 PM  
Blogger thquah said...

mossie- will keep in mind your suggestion.My suggestion on age diffenence is just a guide only. I would not know whether this will happen.

lcf-that's what I have been telling him.

peeny- 17yrs(more mature) is different from 15 yrs. I am not against him having g/f's but I don't think the time is right now.Thks for the note on nagging.

8:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

at first when i read "10 years would be better", i thought it's ridiculous to ask your son to marry a young girl... quite greedy cos i thought you want him to marry a pretty girl. but when i read further... it's just all about sex! LOL

9:28 PM  
Blogger mumsgather said...

At least you are close enuf to your kids to talk about this. Did you remember to talk to him about the dangers of unprotected sex and not to get any girl pregnant? Now that is a lot lot more worrying than having a girlfriend. :PpP

9:38 AM  
Blogger thquah said...

MG- I and MrsQ are very open with our children. We can talk on anything, I did discuss with him about condoms but did not go in the subject of unprotected sex. Maybe soon.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous sweetspirit said...

I pretty much agree with what you said, but myson did fall inlove with his girl at 15 and she was 13 so it was very scarry stuff but they have been together for over six years now.So what can i say ,but yes they do love one another.

6:44 PM  
Blogger thquah said...

sweetspirit: thanks for reading all the way from Australia. It's kind of hard to advise our children nowadays but at least we try our best.If they heed our advise it will be a bonus, if not we just have to hope and pray for the best. Cheers to you.

9:44 PM  
Blogger Ginn said...

I like the way u reasoned with yr kids. I wish i've had the same parenting u gave. I like the way u tell them what is more right to do....rather than what is wrong. I like that u advice, rather than reprimand.

I keep my relationships away from my parents...even until nw.
I wish I hav a choice not to.

You earned yr childs trust, n they will b truthful to u. If they do get into a relationship early, I think u r capable of guiding them, so as not to mess up their lives.

Relationships builts u sometimes. It depends hw u take it.
N with a dad like you, a family like yrs, the positive way I say.


10:51 PM  
Blogger thquah said...

thanks for dropping by my blog.well my relationship with my kids I guess is kind of cool, always like to treat them like a friend.

11:02 PM  

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