Bringing up my children

Children can be a source of inspiration and.........

Bring up children can be a real pain in the............... but the joy is always there when the child smiles and laugh. This especially when the child is just from the time of birth until 6 or 7 years old, these are the fun and wonderful time a parent can experience.

Nowadays children are more open and demanding as they grow up, they will asked for explanation and reasoning on why things cannot be done or when we turn down their request for certain things. As parents (myself) I feel some things they cannot have or cannot do. Hence I have to explain with reasons to make them understand and come to their senses. Sometimes they will argue with their reasons (usually comparing with their friends) so as a parent I would usually listen and try my utmost to come to a win-win solution with them. At times these can be tough. It's kind of give and take, game to play. If you are too strict it's also difficult, if too lenient they will climb over my head. (Balancing act) As for my children I can say that they are quite understanding. I think if you can communicate with your children like a friend would be a great achievement. I always make my point clear to them on certain issues;

• Money matter - to be thrifty and always save for raining days (even if they have extra money).
• Friends - to mix with good friends and don't fall into peer pressure.
• Exams - to do your best even though your results are not good it's OK, it's not end of the world.
• Language - to read as many story books as possible (most of the time they are lazy in this)
• Love - don't get involve until you are at least in university.
• Discipline - be discipline in whatever you do.

With children, you can learn something very important; how to give for the sheer joy of giving. If you give to children with any hope of return you're inviting misery all around. Cheers!!!

Perth confirmed

e- ticket from SIA

Originally I booked my airline tickets from MAS- Pg/Kuc/Perth and back to Pg and was on the waiting list. After weeks of waiting and waiting. MAS still could not confirmed the seats. I was thinking to myself. I better forget about the Perth trip. The airfare was around RM1650 including airport tax per pax.

Last week I saw SIA advertisment for Pg/Perth/Pg at an amazing price. Immediately went to SIA office, booked and issued the tickets. I guess luck was on my side or rather I have the good fortune. At last my flight to Perth is confirmed. The good news is; I was able to get a better deal from SIA- Pg/S'pore/Perth and back to Pg for just RM1250 including airport tax per pax.(a saving of RM400x2=RM800)

I am looking foward for my holidays. We plan to rent a car from the airport spend 2 days (Perth , Fremantle & Swan Valley) and 3 days (Busselton, Margaret River & Augusta). My friends have recommended me to visit the Sandalford Vineyard some 20km out of Perth. I think we will be visiting a few more vineyard along the way and enjoy the wine maybe get drunk.

Anyone have any good suggestions or recommendations for us to visit?

Touching and emotional blogs

Drawing by Annickmckenzie

Well I was reading a few very touching blogs from Singapore over the passed few days. These blogs are very touching. I was feeling emotional and was thinking what if I was in their situation. Can I be so tough and brave to face the illness they are facing? How are each days going to pass by, will it pass by slowly. I was sitting all by myself thinking and wondering with sad and teary emotions.

People who are facing sickness/illness are at their lowest point off their life's that what I can think off. The courage they have and the sufferings they are going through made them tougher and stronger I believe. I hope they are.

I sincerely from the bottom of my heart send my prayers daily to those who are suffering from illness. Those that I have met through the web even though they might not know me. Stumble upon someone who is suffering and full of sorrows makes me realise that I should be thankful and grateful for the good health I have even if might not be rich. Nothing is better than having a good and healthy life. Money cannot buy us good health. Even if we are poor just ponder and think how lucky we are compare to those who are suffering from illness.

Wealth is health. Even though you might be suffering from illness now.You can still live your life to the fullest. Quote, "Life itself is the most precious of all treasure. Even the treasure of the entire universe cannot equal the value of a single human life. Life is like a lamp, and food like oil”

Meaning of Life - my experience

Photo by Kitchen Wench

Sometimes things happen to us at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection we realize that without overcoming those obstacles we would never realize our potential, strength, will power and heart. Life is always full of hardship and difficulties.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of our soul. This is the law of cause and effect. I have been through bad and hard times and I know many people out there have the same experience.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless. No challenges at all.

The people we meet affect our life. The successes and downfalls that we experience can create who we are and the bad experiences we learned from will teach us something valuable. In fact the most painful ones are the important ones. If someone hurts us, betrays us or breaks our heart, forgive them because they have helped us learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom we open our heart to.

Make every day count. Appreciate everything that we possibly can and have, for we may never experience it again. Life is short.

Hold our head up because we have every right to, no matter how small we are.

Tell ourselves, we are a great individual and believe in ourselves, for if we don't believe in ourselves, no one else will believe in us. Create our own life and then go out and live it. Everyone of us is unique. Cheers!!!

Remembering my children when they were babies.

Trying to turn the clock back to the times when my son was born and the following year my daughter. It was kind of thrilling to recall all the great moments that I could feel at that time. I was in the delivery room when both my children were delivered. It was an experience of my life to witness and appreciate it, every husband should do it. As I take a peep back in time, those beautiful memories emerged out like a dream. When my son was born, my mum took care of him in the day time (thanks mum) where else we (partner & me) have to take care of him at the night. As both of us are working you can imagine the problems we have to face looking after our son and daughter. We have difficulties from trying to make them sleep and to feeding them in the middle of the night. We managed to fix up a routine for my kids that are to feed them milk at around 11pm so that he can sleep through until morning. Then we can have our good sleep. Looking after a baby and have to go to work the next day is no fun.

I was wondering and thinking that how did we manage to make it. I guess it was a great achievement for both of us. Couples who have babies will know that taking care of them is no easy task. It's all pain and sweat. Sometimes babies are a pain in the........... But yet we adore and love them because they are so joyful when they smile and laugh.

Looking at these sweet memories reminds me of the good old days. I suffered when my babies were sick (in and out of the hospital-my son) many experiences that taught us a lesson or two. After reading a blog “Meaning of Life.” I would like to say "Never let life's hardships disturb you. After all, no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages. Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life".

Some people may not agree with me but this a fact of life to consider. I truly believe in this especially in my life.


Son & Daughter - relaxing



Playing time at grannies place

Thoughts on my family

I am thankful for the marriage I have even though there are up and downs. Having a good marriage for the last 18 years is the best thing in my life with full backing of my partner (wife). I think without her help and support I don't think I can made it. I definitely will cherish the love I have received and given to my partner (vice verse). My partner is my soul mate in life. I am pretty sure we are trustful, committed and honest in our marriage. To think about honesty, I think there are a few times I did tell a few white lies but nothing serious. I think my partner cherish and love me so much because I have a sense of humour to make her laugh after all these years. I feel that good communication between two of us is key to make this partnership and friendship goes so well.

I thankful for the kids I have even though sometimes they are naughty and cheeky. Kids are all naughty and cheeky I was when I was a kid. The most important thing to me is that as they grow up, they will not sway into bad company (smoking, drugs, and illegal stuff). I thankful that my family has such a wonderful relationship, we can talked and discussed things and always come to an agreeable solution.

I will always cherish our holidays together as a family and will be looking forward for more family holidays as the years ahead. My siblings and I were not that fortunate in our childhood to go for any holidays with our dad and mum under unfavourable conditions. Now things look much better as we had to slog in the early years of our marriage and be where we are today. What are your thoughts on your family? Hopefully the thoughts are the same as mine.


Son & Daughter on our holidays


Outdoor fun together

Cooking Nasi Lemak on Mother's Day

Last Sunday MrsQ asked me what to cook for lunch. Most of the weekends she cooked, we enjoyed her cooking. After the everyday normal dishes bought from the hawkers for lunch and dinner I suggested that I will cooked Nasi Lemak (Fragrance Rice) for lunch. Since it was also Mother’s Day 8/5/2005 I thought it was a good idea to let MrsQ take a rest and to try my cooking skills. Oh yes my mother has has gone to my brother place in KL so she didn't get to enjoy my good cooking.

So I went to the market bought the things needed for my cooking. I bought Santan, (coconut milk) Rempah (spices) ready mixed for curry chicken, Cucumber, Ikan Bilis, (small fishes) Fish-Stingy Ray. I managed to get some banana leaves near my house for grilling the fish. Then unplucked some pandan leaves(fragrances leaves) opposite my house for cooking the rice.

Then I started cooking the Nasi Lemak. At the same time MrsQ help in, she could not let me do all the cooking. I think in her mind every dish will be a disaster. She cooked all the main dishes curry chicken and grill fish with chili and fried ikan bilis. In the end I just cooked the rice , cut the cucumber and made some sambal belachan (chili with prawn paste). So much for Mother's Day cooking. My Nasi Lemak turns out pretty good the aroma was fantastic. (cukup lemak) The sambal belachan which was spicy and hot. If you mixed it with the Nasi Lemak it’s so delicious and taste so good. Overall the lunch was simple and good.

We had a good and hearty lunch. My kids enjoy the lunch so much that both of them have 2nd helping. Maybe I will try cooking more and let MrsQ take a rest on weekend’s .LOL.

My Nasi Lemak ready for makan(eating).


All ready for makan.



Nasi Lemak with the dishes.

My tribute to Mr. Kennysia

Source: idlelight's photos

I recalled when I first wrote my first few blogs, I think the 1st person who came by and gave a comment was Kennysia. My blog which was written on 13 March 2005 was about my father and smoking.

Kenny Sia said...

I have been coming to this site on and off, but I have to say... the similarity between you and me is amazing. I doubt you've been following my site, but I'm undergoing a similar situation. My father is also a heavy smoker, and is now diagnosed with kidney cancer which has since been metastated to the lungs.

Keep writing. Your writing has a very down-to-earth feel to it that cannot be denied.

I wasn't too sure I wrote that well but at least I try to write to the best of my abilities. I did not tell him or rather warned him that lung cancer patients have a limited time to live especially if it's in Stage 3( it's a fact) because I don't want to let him feel down and have no hope at all for his dad. But to my mind I know that time is not on his dad side. What I did advice him was to give the best he can give to his dad, the attention his dad needs and whatever he requests. I did that for my dad in the last few months of his days. So I think my dad did enjoy that. I know down in my heart Kennysia has done that ( spending time and taking care of his dad) by the last few blogs written by him. I am lost for words for him as I can feel the sorrow and grief he is in now, I had experience it too.

What I can say is that, it's better to go if the time has come and rather to suffer and suffer ( not only the father but also the family). I know it not humane to say this but I would rather go if I know that the time has come. I might be wrong to say this but that's what I believe and it would be better for everyone. You will know this when you are in this situation. "Cry all you want to cry because I did cry when my dad died". Take care and May Your Dad Rest In Peace.

Marriage and I

Marriage and I

I was reading 5xMoM - What holds a marriage? - Pt 1 that prompt me to write about a glimpse of my marriage.

I got married in 1987, since then my marriage has been good. We have our up and downs (more up then downs). Fortunately we don't have much argument, if we do have, it's always settle peacefully. I am for one that place my family first in my life. Before I got married I got this poster "Rules For A Good Marriage" it's still with me hanging in my bedroom. By reading the Rules For A Happy Marriage, it helps to remind me that the importances of making my marriage works. These are a few things that I think will make a marriage works ;

1. lots of trust
2. patience
3. give and take
4. be a good listener
5. do your part in helping out in the house(your partner will appreciate you more)
   
6. giving space to your partner for whatever things she wants to do (her hobbies/interest)
7. be honest
8. religion? (it would be better if both have the same faith but not necessary)

Lots of hard work, I would say to have a successful marriage. Then there is the financial factor to work it out which sometimes is very sensitive. As far as my partner is concern she helps in the financial for the family. But things are much better now and I don't asked her to help out anymore.

When we were new weds, our financial situation was not so strong, just started working meh. We couldn't afford to go for holidays then. Actually we did not go for any oversea holidays after 13 years of our marriage. We did go to the local places like Camerons and Genting. As the years go by financially we were better and we could have better things in life. If you struggle in the beginning surely you will receive the benefits later on. This also goes the same for marriage to be successful. I don't have the right formula for a marriage to work. It all boils down to both partners wanting the marriage to work out well. Most of the things I followed from the poster guide.

If you have any guide and formula please let me know. I hope the guide on Rules For A Happy Marriage will be benefit to some ppl. Marriages that flourish are friendships. Cheers!!!

Rules For A Happy Marriage

Happy Marriage Pt1

Happy Marriage Pt2

Hugs!!!!!

When we read the word HUGS it with always remind us of something beautiful in our own life's. It's because of our bringing up and cultural that we don't simply hug anyone we like. But remember to give your love one's a hug, it could be your spouse, parents or children. Hugging is good medicine. It transfers energy, and gives the person hugged an emotional boost. Parents like to hugs their children when the children are small. Usually in the age ranging from 1-6 years old. As our children begin to grow older they doesn't want to be hug any more. This due to the fact that they are shy and the cultural that is with in us. Maybe I am wrong in this aspect but I experienced this as my children began to grow older from young children to young teenages, they do not want to be hug. Sometimes I have to ask my daughter or son to give me a hug, this is not like when they were small we can pick them up giving them hugs anytime and anywhere.
Hugging can be very emotional for most people if it's a hug given by your love one, especially from children to parents. You can go back and try it out and you will know the feeling. Now a days I feel that children don't give that much hugs to their parents as they should. Is this because of our cultural? Hugs are only given on special occasion only like going away for a trip, birthdays, etc. These hugs are happy and emotional hugs. A hug makes you feel good. A hug can cover a lot of skin and gives the message that you care. It is also a form of communication. It can say things you don't have words for. So start hugging your love one's today.
It is said that hugs can relieve pain and depression.. make the healthier happier, and the most secure even more so.. Hugging feels good and overcomes fear... Hugging makes happy days happier and impossible days possible.

The Rescuing Hug
This is a picture from an article I read called, "The Rescuing Hug." The article details the first week of life of a set of twins. Apparently, each were in their respective incubators, and one was not expected to live. A hospital nurse fought against the hospital rules and placed the babies in one incubator. When they were placed together, the healthier of the two threw an arm over her sister in an endearing embrace. The smaller baby's heart rate stabilized and her temperature rose to normal.
They both survived, and are thriving! In fact, now that the two girls are home, they still sleep together, and still snuggle. The hospital changed their policy after they saw the effect of putting the two girls together, and now they bed multiples together.

Twins


If you looks as though you've had a rough day. Feeling blue, lousy, lonely? Then go home and get or give a hug. Relax and let the *HUGS* smoothe away your tiredness and bring back your smile. Have you hug someone today? Maybe you should try by hugging your parents. Cheers to hugging!!!